January 2012
37 posts
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That awkward moment when your boyfriend's dad...
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YEAH MOM. IT’S TOTALLY FINE THAT YOU KEPT WALKING IN MY ROOM AS I WAS TRYING TO SLEEP THIS MORNING. YEAH. WHY DIDN’T YOU KEEP THAT REALLY INTERESTING CONVERSATION WE WERE HAVING GOING WHILE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH AND GARGLED AND I TRIED MY BEST TO MAKE YOU EXPLODE WITH MY MIND? SERIOUSLY. I’M JUST SO CONFUSED. I MEAN, I DIDN’T SAY, “MOM, I’M TRYING TO...
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Guys, I can't find my other heart earring.
If you find it, please return it to me.
Thanks.
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“Remember this in moments of despair. If you find that writing is hard,...”
– On Writing Well by William Zinsser.
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Tomorrow will be my first day of classes.
I haven’t been to school in quite some time, so being in class will certainly make me nervous. I really hope all goes well and I certainly I hope I do well enough to transfer somewhere I love. Specifically USD. Because I love their dorms and the campus. It’s my love. For real.
I hope I won’t be awake all night. And I really hope I’ll wake up on time. My ass will be awake...
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I've decided to force myself to stay awake so I...
I brought this torture upon myself. It is well deserved.
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About to watch Fright Night.
Let’s do this.
Got my pineapple, got my platypus, and my fork. I’m ready.
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This is why I think my house is haunted:
I’m paranoid.
I watch way too many horror movies.
I have a family filled with gypsies that claim my sisters and I have “special gifts” that we haven’t honed in on.
I always feel like something is watching me (which only supports #1).
I see things out the corner of my eyes (also supports #1).
I actually think that spirits have followed us from our last house which...
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I seriously need to go get my eyebrows done.
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Sometimes I feel like the American version of...
…is kind of taking a jab at the UK version.
It’s like, when someone performs a monologue and then someone else performs the same monologue so others can decide who’s better. I mean, I certainly enjoy both the UK and the US version, but I don’t know how I feel about the immense amount of similarities. There really are too many for my liking. I feel like they...
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I HAVE LOST SIX POUNDS.
TAKE THAT, DIET PEPSI. I KNEW YOU WERE NO GOOD FOR ME.
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This is all about how crafty I am.
Literally crafty. Not mind-game crafty. I wish I was that type of crafty.
Anyway.
I’ve never been able to reach the little handles for my fan, so I made these little knitted extensions so my short self can reach them. One for the light, one for the fan. I also put up more photos around my room, hung up my mirror and added pretty lights to my bed frame. Oh, and I also have a new blanket...
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My biggest pet peeve:
When people make me wait/are late when I give them a specific time to be somewhere.
Watchbutttouchers:
sushi-cats:
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz:
princessofwalmart:
cyberqueef:
jesus christ
is that legal
what the fuck..
oh LOL
god I would be so disappointed in myself for failing as a parent if my kid was one of these people
oh dear.
I just cleaned the majority of the house.
I know that when my mom comes home, she’s going to be like, “What’d you do all day? Sleep?” And I’m just going to stone face her. I don’t know why I suddenly had the urge to clean, but I did. I’m pretty happy I did it too. It gave me a sense of accomplishment. And now I can lounge around a nice, clean house.
Now I just have to hop in the shower and get...
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Does anyone want a cat that's blind in one eye...
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I've decided to give up diet soda.
Let’s see how long this lasts.
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What's a good site to look at for scholarships?
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I'm watching My Fair Wedding.
And they’re talking about manners and how to eat properly (like a princess) and I’m just sitting here with my bowl of noodles and meat, chopping away, belching like a champion.
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I'm awake at 10 even though I didn't fall asleep...
I mean, I’ve gotten less sleep before, but I’m still exhausted. My boyfriend told me that he would be picking me up today at 11, but I should’ve known better than to trust him on this one because he’s never on time and he always sleeps until four in the afternoon anyway. I’m also angry because I showered and everything. I can’t even crawl back into bed and just...
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THE DIRECTOR OF THE STONING OF SORAYA M. E-MAILED...
HE E-MAILED ME WITHOUT ME E-MAILING HIM.
I’M CRYING.
I’M CRYING.
I’M CRYING.
I’M DYING INSIDE.
THIS IS AMAZING.
I’M GOING TO EXPLODE.
HE WISHED ME A HAPPY NEW YEAR AND ASKED ME ABOUT MY ENDEAVORS!
I’M SERIOUSLY SPEWING RAINBOWS.
I’M SO OVERWHELMED.
PLEASE LET ME CONTINUE CRYING FOREVER.
I’M SO HAPPY.
THIS IS SO GREAT.
...
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Dead Baby Jokes.
Boyfriend: Your bed is way cozier than mine.
Me: It's probably because I stuff the mattress with babies.
Boyfriend: Are they dead or alive?
Me: Well, I didn't hear any crying, so...
madehimsaycomfychairs replied to your post: THAT GLORIOUS MOMENT WHEN YOU REALIZE THAT SAY YES TO THE DRESS IS ON NETFLIX.
SO JEALOUS.
There’s like…forty something episodes too! I’M DYING.
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THAT GLORIOUS MOMENT WHEN YOU REALIZE THAT SAY YES...
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My mouth feels like it's about to explode.
I feel like such a loser for complaining about it, but my teeth hurt so badly. I’m very close to just extracting all of them.
In fact, I’m going to do that.
Getting the pliers.
Bye.
December 2011
27 posts
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“Mr. West, not every situation requires your patented approach of shoot first,...”
– President Grant, Wild Wild West (1999)
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I’m supposed to put a key to the store in my mailbox so my co-worker can pick it up today and turn it in.
But I don’t want to get out of bed.
So, there is now a problem.
Oh dear.
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I want my mother to wake up so I can bully her...
I just changed my insulin line too, so I’m very set for a hearty breakfast.
She’ll probably punch me in the face if I ask her for food, though. I’m very surprised she isn’t awake yet considering she goes to work in forty-five minutes.
MOM. MOM WAKE UP. YOU HAVE TO GO TO WORK. MOM. WAKE UP. ATTEND TO YOUR WORK’S NEEDS. MOTHER. MOTHER WHAT ARE YOU DOING. GET UP....
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I have some stuff I need to get off my chest.
Just because I wear a Batman ring and happen to like Batman quite a bit, it does not mean that I’m obsessed with Batman and need a bunch of Batman-related gifts. The same thing happened with pandas. I tell one bitch that I like pandas and that I think they’re fucking adorable and then IT STARTS TO RAIN PANDAS EVERYWHERE BECAUSE EVERYONE STARTS SHOWERING ME WITH STUFFED FREAKING PANDAS...
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I should start a blog about the things my mom...
Sister: (talking about my six month old niece) Maya's gonna clean house with all the presents she's getting for Christmas.
Mom: What're you talking about? I cleaned the house already. I swept and vacuumed...
Sister: Mom, it's an expression. She's not going to literally "clean house."
Mom: And I'm telling you I cleaned it already!
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I'm going to post stuff until everyone's eyes...
Except not really. You’ll all be very annoyed.
I just finally have stuff I need to blog about. Go me.
Also, it’s very windy, so I keep hearing creepy noises. If I stop posting, it’s because I died. Just thought you needed to know. Please call the police and tell them that a girl you follow on Tumblr named Liz is most likely dead because she is no longer updating her blog....
I think my blood sugar is really low. I woke up and I remember fighting it. I needed orange juice. I think I threw the carton of it. I don’t know why. Everything is fake to me. I don’t know what’s going on. This is scary. I haven’t had this happen to me in a very long time.
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Pac Sun is my spirit animal this week.
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